Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The man rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down ...

Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear 'the rules'
from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note. These are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full MOON OR the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Food as medicine

HEADACHE? EAT FISH!
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.

HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.

TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA!
Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)!

INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?) HONEY!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.

ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (when I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better).

ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)

UPSET STOMACH? BANANAS - GINGER!!!!!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.

BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME? EAT CORNFLAKES!!!!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.

MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.

COLDS? EAT GARLIC!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.

BREAST CANCER? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.

LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.

ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.

DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)

CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.

BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!!
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.

Kiwi: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E &fiber. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants &flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

Strawberry: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits &protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young.........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies)

Orange : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer.

Watermelon: Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients
found in watermelon are Vitamin C &Potassium. (watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn suv rays)

Guava &Papaya: Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation.

Papaya is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion)

Tomatoes are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies.

Couple toilet

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A glass of milk

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?

You don't owe me anything, she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled! They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk" (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters, comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?

Phua Chu Kang make a sentence

Phua Chu Kang was asked to make a sentences using 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. Happy reading.

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple saw me so I panic and 4 down.The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me so I run until I fall 6 and throw out. I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

I then put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day,I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5 and tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand.I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

$incerely Your$,
Marian $hih

The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :

Dear Marian

I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .

Yours truly,
Finance Manager

A Cancer Killer in the Kitchen

The powerful healing effects of ginger have been well documented. It's a proven remedy for upset stomach. Reams of studies show that it inhibits inflammation. And there is substantial evidence that it fights cancer too.

For instance, a recent University of Michigan study showed that when ginger was added to ovarian cancer cells in the laboratory, it caused the cancer cells to self-destruct (a process known as "apoptosis"). In a separate study at the University of Minnesota , researchers injected colon cancer cells into mice that were bred to have no immune system. Half of these mice were routinely fed gingerol, the main active component in ginger. The researchers found that the mice that were fed gingerol lived longer, their tumors were smaller, and the cancer did not spread as widely as in the control group.

With all these health benefits, you should be using ginger as often as you can. The best way I've found to get a healthy serving of ginger is to juice it. (The brand of juicer I use is an Omega.) Two or three days a week, you can juice an apple or two, some carrots, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, and a big piece of ginger root. The ginger will give the drink a great flavor and a powerful anti-cancer kick. It's highly recommend !

Give it a try !

Monday, July 14, 2008

Jail in Austria

This is not an IT park.
This is a jail in Austria!


















Let's go Austria.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Petrol Price

Now read below..... Need those in know of the basic economics of crude, fuel etc to comment.

WHAT IS NEVER MENTIONED IN Mainstream Media like NST /TheStar/Utusan/BH are these facts....

Malaysian PerCapita Income USD 5000
VS
Singaporean PerCapita Income USD 25000

Further The Star made a comparison of prices in Thailand , Singapore and Indonesia .
For Thailand it is quoted at RM3.90/liter, however are they aware that in Thailand new cars are cheaper than Malaysia by RM10,000? They pay only one life time for their driving license? No renewal fee after that? Also that goes for road tax as well? And do TheStar also aware that you can drive all the way from Hadtyai to Bangkok on a six lane highway without paying any Tolls ??!!

Whereas here in Malaysia you have to pay yearly renewal for road tax , driving license and TOLLS, TOLLS, TOLLS!!!

For Singapore how can you quote RM 5.20 ? Please quote in Singapore Dollars because they are earning in Sing Dollars. You might as well say Europeans are paying RM10/liter. RM5.20/liter = Sing $ 2.20/liter, still cheaper than Malaysia in view of fact that Singapore is not a crude oil exporter. Are you saying that you fill up petrol in Singapore by paying Ringgit?

In economy, dollar to dollar must be compared as apple to apple. Not comparing like durian in M'sia is much cheaper than durian in Japan !! Of course-lah, Japan is not durian producer!!! Comparing Malaysian durian with Thailand durian make more sense!!

For Indonesia we might say is cheaper there at RM2.07/liter but compare that to their level of income!

Now, let us compare the price with OIL PRODUCING countries:

UAE – RM1.19/litre
Eygpt – RM1.03/litre
Bahrain – RM0.87/litre
Qatar – RM0.68/litre
Kuwait – RM0.67/litre
Saudi Arabia – RM0.38/litre
Iran – RM0.35/litre
Nigeria – RM0.32/litre
Turkmenistan – RM0.25/litre
Venezuela – RM0.16/litre
MALAYSIA – RM2.70/litre

RM 2.70!!! Individual perspective:

As of last month a Toyota Vios would 'cause a damage' of about RM 89,000.
In the international market, a Toyota Vios is about USD 19,000
USD 19,000 = RM 62,700 (using the indicative rates of USD 1 = RM 3.30)
That makes Malaysian Vios owners pay an extra RM 26,300.

This RM 26,300 should be cost of operations, profit and tax because the transportation costs have been factored in to the USD 19,000.

RM 26,300/ RM625 petrol rebate per year translates to a Vios being used for 42.08 years.

I do understand that the RM 625 is a rebate given by the government, but it also means that one has to use the Vios for 42.08 years just to make back the amount paid in taxes for the usage of a foreign car. Would anyone use any kind of car for that long?

Now with these numbers in front of us, does the subsidy sound like a subsidy or does it sound like a penalty? This just seems to be a heavy increment in our daily cost of living as we are not only charged with high car taxes but also with a drastic increase in fuel price.

With all the numbers listed out, I urge all Malaysians to join me in analyzing the situation further.

Car taxation is government profit, fuel sales is Petronas' ( GLC ) profit which also translates into government profit. The government may ridicule us Malaysians by saying look at the world market and fuel price world wide. Please, we are Malaysians, we fought of the British, had a international port in the early centuries (Malacca), home to a racially mixed nation and WE ARE NOT STUPID!!!

We know the international rates are above the USD 130/barrel. We understand the fact that the fuel prices are increasing worldwide and we also know that major scientist are still contradicting on why this phenomenon is happening. Some blame Bush and his plunders around the world and some blame climate change and there are others which say petroleum 'wells' are getting scarce.

Again we go back to numbers to be more straight fwd

1 barrel = 159 liters x RM2.70/liter = RM 429 or USD 134

On 1 hand, we are paying the full cost of 1 barrel of crude oil with RM2.70 per liter but on the other hand the crude oil only produces 46% of fuel.

Msia sells crude oil per barrel at USD130 buys back Fuel per barrel at USD134. And not forgetting, every barrel of fuel is produced with 2 barrels of crude oil.

1 barrel crude oil = produce 46% fuel (or half of crude oil), therefore
2 barrel crude oil = approximately 1 barrel fuel
In other words, each time we sell 2 barrels of crude oil, equivalently we will buy back 1 barrel of fuel.

Financially,
Malaysia sell 2 barrel crude oil @ USD 130/barrel = USD 260 = RM 858
then, Malaysia will buy back fuel @ USD 134/barrel = RM 442/barrel
Thus, Malaysia earn net extra USD 126 = RM 416 for each 2 barrel of crude sold/exported vs imported 1 barrel of fuel !!!
(USD 260-134 = USD 126 = RM416)

So where this extra USD 126/barrel income is channeled to by Malaysian Govt?????????

Another analysis:

1 barrel crude oil = 159 liters.
46-47% of a barrel of crude oil = fuel that we use in our vehicles.
46% of 159 = 73.14 liters.
@ RM 2.70/liter x 73.14 liter = RM197.48 of fuel per barrel of crude oil. This is only 46% of the barrel, mind you. Using RM 3.30 = USD 1, we get that a barrel of crude oil produces USD 59.84 worth of petrol fuel (46% of 1barrel).
USD 59.84 of USD 130/barrel turns out to be 46% of a barrel as well.

Another 54% = bitumen, kerosene, and natural gases and so many more.
And this makes a balance of USD 70.16 that has not been accounted for.

So this is where I got curious. Where is the subsidy if we are paying 46% of the price of a barrel of crude oil when the production of petrol/barrel of crude oil is still only 46%?

In actual fact, we still pay for this as they are charged in the forms of fuel surcharge by airlines and road taxes for the building of road (because they use the tar/bitumen) and many more excuse charging us but let us just leave all that out of our calculations.

As far as I know, only the politicians who live in Putrajaya and come for their Parliament meetings in Kuala Lumpur (approximately 60+ km) are the ones to gain as they claim their fuel and toll charges from the money of the RAKYAT's TAX.

It is so disappointing to see this happen time and time again to the Malaysian public, where they are deceived by the propaganda held by the politicians and the controls they have over the press.

Which stupid idiot economist equates rebates for rich or poor with the cc of the vehicles? An average office clerk may own a second hand 1300cc proton Iswara costing $7,000 (rebate = $625) while the Datuk's children can own a fleet of 10 new cars of BMW, Audi and Volvo all less than 2000cc costing $2 millions and get a total rebate of $625 x 10 = $6,250! Wow what kind of economists we are keeping in Malaysia ...wonder which phD certificate that they bought from...

Misleading concept of Subsidy:

The word "subsidy" has been brandished by the BN government as if it has so generously helped the rakyat and in doing so incurred losses. This simple example will help to explain the fallacy:

Example:
Ahmad is a fisherman. He sells a fish to you at $10 which is below the market value of $15. Let's assume that he caught the fish from the abundance of the sea at little or no cost. Ahmad claims that since the market value of the fish is $15 and he sold you the fish for $10, he had subsidised you $5 and therefore made a loss of $5.

Question : Did Ahmad actually make a profit of $10 or loss of $5 which he claimed is the subsidy?

Answer:
Ahmad makes a profit of $10 which is the difference of the selling price ($10) minus the cost price ($0 since the fish was caught from the abundance of the sea). There is no subsidy as claimed by Ahmad.

The BN government claims that it is a subsidy because the oil is kept and treated as somebody else's property (you know who). By right, the oil belongs to all citizens of the country and the government is a trustee for the citizens. So as in the above simple example, the BN government cannot claim that it has subsidised the citizen!

It does make sense 2 me..What say u?

Plastic bags

Data released by the United States Environmental Protection Agency shows that somewhere between 500 billion and a trillion plastic bags are consumed worldwide each year.
National Geographic News September 2, 2003

Less than 1% of bags are recycled. It cost more to recycle a bag than to produce a new one.

“There's harsh economics behind bag recycling: It costs $4,000 to process and recycle 1 ton of plastic bags, which can then be sold on the commodities market for $32”
- Jared Blumenfeld
(Director of San Francisco's Department of the Environment)

Then…
Where Do They Go?

A study in 1975, showed oceangoing vessels together dumped 8 million pounds of plastic annually. The real reason that the world's landfills weren't overflowing with plastic was because most of it ended up in an ocean-fill

Bags get blown around…

…to different parts of our lands

…and to our seas, lakes and rivers.

Bags find their way into the sea via drains and sewage pipes

Plastic bags have been found floating north of the Arctic Circle near Spitzbergen, and as far south as the Falkland Islands

Plastic bags account for over 10 percent of the debris washed up on the U.S. coastline

Plastic bags photodegrade: Over time they break down into smaller, more toxic petro-polymers

which eventually contaminate soils and waterways

As a consequence microscopic particles can enter the food chain

The effect on wildlife can be catastrophic

Birds become terminally entangled

Nearly 200 different species of sea life including whales, dolphins, seals and turtles die due to plastic bags
- World Wildlife Fund Report 2005

They die after ingesting plastic bags which they mistake for food

So…
What do we do?

If we use a cloth bag, we can save 6 bags a week

That's 24 bags a month

That's 288 bags a year

That's 22,176 bags in an average life time

If just 1 out of 5 people in our country did this we would save 1,330,560,000,000 bags over our life time

Bangladesh has banned plastic bags

China has banned free plastic bags
- CNN.com/asia January 9, 2008

Ireland took the lead iin Europe, taxing plastic bags in 2002 and have now reduced plastic bag
consumption by 90%

In 2005 Rwanda banned plastic bags

Israel, Canada, western India, Botswana, Kenya, Tanzania, South Africa, Taiwan, and Singapore have also banned or are moving toward banning the plastic bag

On March 27th 2007, San Francisco becomes first U.S. city to ban plastic bags

Oakland and Boston are considering a ban

Plastic shopping bags are made from polyethylene: a thermoplastic made from oil

Reducing plastic bags will decrease foreign oil dependency

China will save 37 million barrels of oil each year due to their ban of free plastic bags

It is possible......

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
......................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
......................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
.....................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
......................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.....................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
.....................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
......................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
....................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
......................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
.....................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
......................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
......................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
.....................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
......................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
.....................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
.....................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
......................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
.....................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
......................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.......

Doctors

An Israeli doctor says:
'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says:
'That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says:
'In my country, medicine is so far progressed that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

The Malaysian doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains, out from Kepala Batas, Penang , put him in the Parliament for 5 years, and now half the country is looking for work.'

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Broken Fan Belt

A guy in St. Louis was driving to work on I-44 when he heard a 'pop'! He thought it sounded like a flat tire, although his ride wasn't affected.

After pulling over, checking the tires and finding them intact, he opened the hood to look at the motor. Before the hood was all the way open he jumped back in shock and knocked his head on the partially opened hood, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing! Nobody was going to believe this!

You sure wouldn't have either!

Fortunately for him, a coworker with a camera recognized him along side the road and stopped to see if he could help.

Check out the photos to witness for yourself the source of his amazement. Now, this has to be right up there at the top of the list of unusual but verified 'Reasons I was late for work!!!






How'd you like to find this under your hood? Or anywhere else?

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