The man rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down ...

Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear 'the rules'
from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note. These are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full MOON OR the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Food as medicine

HEADACHE? EAT FISH!
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.

HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.

TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA!
Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)!

INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?) HONEY!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.

ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (when I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better).

ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)

UPSET STOMACH? BANANAS - GINGER!!!!!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.

BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME? EAT CORNFLAKES!!!!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.

MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.

COLDS? EAT GARLIC!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.

BREAST CANCER? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.

LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.

ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.

DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)

CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.

BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!!
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.

Kiwi: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E &fiber. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants &flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

Strawberry: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits &protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young.........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies)

Orange : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer.

Watermelon: Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients
found in watermelon are Vitamin C &Potassium. (watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn suv rays)

Guava &Papaya: Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation.

Papaya is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion)

Tomatoes are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies.

Couple toilet

A glass of milk

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?

You don't owe me anything, she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said..... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled! They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk" (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters, comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?

Phua Chu Kang make a sentence

Phua Chu Kang was asked to make a sentences using 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. Happy reading.

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple saw me so I panic and 4 down.The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me so I run until I fall 6 and throw out. I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

I then put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day,I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5 and tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand.I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

$incerely Your$,
Marian $hih

The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :

Dear Marian

I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .

Yours truly,
Finance Manager

A Cancer Killer in the Kitchen

The powerful healing effects of ginger have been well documented. It's a proven remedy for upset stomach. Reams of studies show that it inhibits inflammation. And there is substantial evidence that it fights cancer too.

For instance, a recent University of Michigan study showed that when ginger was added to ovarian cancer cells in the laboratory, it caused the cancer cells to self-destruct (a process known as "apoptosis"). In a separate study at the University of Minnesota , researchers injected colon cancer cells into mice that were bred to have no immune system. Half of these mice were routinely fed gingerol, the main active component in ginger. The researchers found that the mice that were fed gingerol lived longer, their tumors were smaller, and the cancer did not spread as widely as in the control group.

With all these health benefits, you should be using ginger as often as you can. The best way I've found to get a healthy serving of ginger is to juice it. (The brand of juicer I use is an Omega.) Two or three days a week, you can juice an apple or two, some carrots, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, and a big piece of ginger root. The ginger will give the drink a great flavor and a powerful anti-cancer kick. It's highly recommend !

Give it a try !