Confusing chinese names

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!

Why planning is important?

One Night, four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning, they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day, they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

See Below for the question Paper

Q.1. Name of the car??
......... .......... ......... (2 MARKS)

Q.2. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left b) Front Right
c) Back Left d) Back Right

True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992

Planning is a process for accomplishing purpose. It is blue print of business growth and a road map of development. It helps in deciding objectives both in quantitative and qualitative terms. It is setting of goals on the basis of objectives and keeping in view the resources.

Two attitudes to planning need to be held in tension: on the one hand we need to be prepared for what may lie ahead, which may mean contingencies and flexible processes. On the other hand, our future is shaped by consequences of our own planning and actions.

If you are planning for your website, finding web hosting. Do plan ahead, read web hosting reviews before decide!

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names?

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

What else can you do with money?

Money can buy what we want and what we need. What else can you do with money?

When "Oh Shit" is the correct word

Marriage life before and after!

Before marriage.
Darling here, darling there.
After marriage.
Baling here, baling there.

Before marriage.
I die for you.
After marriage.
'You die, up to you.'
Lagi lama married.
You want to die? I help you!

Before marriage.
You go anywhere, I follow you.
After marriage.
You go anywhere, up to you.
Lagi lama married.
I go anywhere, better go without you!!

Before wedding.
'you are my heart, you are my love'
After wedding.
'you get on my nerves.'

Before wedding.
'you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella'
After wedding.
'you are worse than godzila'

Before wedding.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you.
After wedding.
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you.

Before wedding.
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La.
After wedding.
You want to go, he says you wait-la.

Before wedding.
She looks like Anita Sarawak.
After wedding.
Don't know whether katak or biawak.

Resignation letter

Dear Mr. Manager

I'm resigning with immediate effect -

The reason for my resignation is what I found in my garage this morning before coming to work.

See for yourself......

Thank you.