Friday, September 25, 2009

Pictures taken at just the right time

BETWEEN THE SECONDS

With the click of a shutter sometimes we become privy to the strange world that occurs between the seconds.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Singh

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, a Singh came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.

A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever. Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,'Is something wrong?'

To which the ferocious Singh replied, ' There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!'

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came asked him, 'Are you relaxing?' Singh answered, ' No, I am Banta Singh.' Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, 'No No Me Banta Singh!' Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?' The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, 'Yes, I am relaxing.'
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!'

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two days of the week that begin with 'T' 2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with 'T' are Today andTomorrow. 2. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?' The Singh replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc...' Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. 'Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar,' he says, ' it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief' ..'

Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell. So the other asked him, 'Why are you crying?' He replied, 'I came here for blood test' The second Singh asked, 'So? Are you afraid ? '

He replied, ' No, not that. During the blood test they will cut my finger' Hearing this , the second Singh started crying. The first one was astonished and asked him, 'Why are you crying?' To which he replied, 'I have come for my urine test'

Art!!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

What exactly is a bitch!? Are you a bitch?

Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their lifestyles.

The first guy says "I'm a YUPPIE. You know... "Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."

Second guy says "I'm a DINK. You know ..... "Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know..."Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to one woman and ask her, "What are you?" She replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know...Wash, Iron, Fxxk, Etc."

A second gal answers their question before they even ask it, "I am a "BITCH."

The men laugh and ask in unison, "What exactly is a BITCH?"

The woman calmly replies, "Babe In Total Control of Herself."

So ladies, next time somebody calls you "Bitch" -- SMILE :) and say, "Thank You!!"

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Clarity in Instructions

OFFICE MEMO:

All members of staff - please note that due to recession, there will only be one drink per person at this year's Annual Party.

And please bring your own cup!

Regards,
Management

What happened at the annual party !!!

The specifications were missing in the memo (size of cup).

Moral of the story:
Be very specific in your daily life including project work.
Give specific specifications.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009